By Caron Schwartz
Call me anything but late to dinner.
In the spirit of our adventures together, Boyfriend and I are taking our relationship to the next level. We might seem to be moving quickly; it wasn’t that long ago that we “came out” as a straight couple in gay-forward Gulfport. But as we approach our platinum years, we don’t have time to spare on a long courtship.
As we prepare to “set up housekeeping” (as my Eastern European grandmother would have put it), we’ve been debating how to refer to each other. I’m perfectly happy to be Boyfriend’s girlfriend, but he thinks these honorifics lack gravitas.
In my sister’s long-term relationship, they are each other’s partners. That’s been common terminology in England, where they live, for years. Here in the States, however, it tends to connote a same-sex or business relationship.
Lots of American couples choose “significant other.” But my old friend and colleague Amy Gahran cautions against this. “Significance can look a lot of different ways,” says the Boulder-based author of Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator. “Any kind of relationship can be deeply significant.”
Significance is not limited to the important people in one’s life either. Gulfport artist Margo SD considers her dog, Albie, her most important companion, and until I met Boyfriend, I felt that way about my cat.
Boyfriend and I have been batting terminology around like badminton birdies. We had pretty much settled on “other half,” which we thought less self-deprecating than “better half.” The more we consider this, however, the more it seems to imply neither of us is whole without the other. As persons of a certain age, if we’re not complete individuals yet we’ll never be.
We’re now adding Amy Gahran’s preferred term, “sweetheart,” to the mix. Let me know what you think.