By Peter Roos
When I first met Renee LaFountain in government class at St. Pete Junior College in the fall of 1970, somehow I knew that she was my soulmate. Probably the most important step in being able to keep the fire burning over the long term is choose the right mate. She was more than I could have hoped for, yet I dared. She was an accomplished dancer, teacher and a model, long established in the local community. I was a Canadian high school grad one year removed. We married young and Renee and I have been virtually inseparable for over half a century.
When asked “What contributes most to the longevity of your relationship,” we say that we each live more for our mates than for ourselves. If a disagreement ensues, we’re both likely to say “you’re probably right.” That diffuses things right away.
Otherwise, we have all seen disagreements turn into fights and fights over the long term contribute to breakups.
The longer we are a couple the harder it is to find new special ways to experience occasions, but it is almost always worth the effort. An unexpected touch, a kiss, a hug, breakfast in bed, a single rose, a sign of our love.
Over time, passion turns to love, love turns into respect and eventually to lifelong gratitude for many years of love, caring and faithfulness. Sharing helps keep the spark alive. Sharing memories and experiences. Sharing successes and failures. Sharing friends and vacations. Sharing occasions, eclipses, experiences. Making memories.
Sharing dogs and cats can help too. We have had our share of pets in a half a century together. Children can go either way, but sharing a fur baby that depends on us and yearns for our attention has provided us with endless hours of enjoyment in exchange for our time, attention and loyalty. It is hard to lose them but adopting a replacement from a shelter can ease the loss. If you actually behave like the person your pet thinks you are, odds are your relationship will last the test of time.
They say that even when our memories fade, the oldest ones remain the longest, so don’t stop making old memories. It is not easy to keep the spark alive, but it is almost impossible to rekindle the fire once it goes out.