By Elli Baldwin, CDP
The Sandwich Generation
What is the Sandwich Generation?
Are you between 40 and 60, simultaneously raising kids and assisting your aging parents?
The sandwich generation is not a specific generation like the millennials or Generation X but a phenomenon that can affect anyone whose parents and children both need support and care. Members of the sandwich generation are multigenerational caregivers and are “raising” their parents and kids simultaneously – quite literally sandwiched between family generations that both need care. The sandwich generation phenomenon is a new concept – so new that the term was coined within the last 10 years. More people identify with the sandwich generation because people have children later in life; therefore, they have older parents when their children are born.
Helping an aging parent is interesting because it can take many different forms. Adult caregivers often help with daily living activities like dressing, eating, and transportation. Caregivers are often responsible for the financial burden of caring for their aging parents. As if caring for their elderly parents wasn’t already a full plate, sandwichers are unique in the sense that they still have minor children at home who require emotional, physical, and financial support. Sandwichers must care and make difficult decisions for those who depend on them.
The mental load the Sandwich generation carries daily makes their heads spin, putting them at risk for MAJOR BURNOUT. There is only so much time in the day, and with many people to care for, sandwich generation members need to remember to prioritize their own well-being and mental and physical health.
Below are six tips for the sandwich generation to help them care for the generations around them and themselves.
Talk about Money – Talk with your elderly dependant sooner rather than later. You may be able to help find a better savings plan, or at the very least, you will be in the know and know what/ if any financial burdens are on you. We know this is not an easy subject to broach, but it is important to have a clear picture to prepare properly.
Have a Partner – Have a partner to help you manage caring for both generations. It doesn’t always need to be a spouse, but you need another person to help offload some of the work of caring for at least one of the generations. We have clients who are single parents. They depend on a sibling to help with their adult parent care. We also have clients who are married and care for both sets of parents. A dependable partner and solid communication are key.
Take a Break – When caring for multiple generations, it is likely hard to find time for yourself, but it is essential to recharge so you don’t burn out. Schedule time DAILY to plug into what you need physically, emotionally, and mentally. Make your well-being a priority and a non-negotiable. Even just 20 minutes spent doing what you need can significantly impact your mental health and, therefore, those around you.
Consider a Multigenerational Home – Are you considering purchasing a new home? Consider a multigenerational model. A multigenerational home can accommodate a family with children and allow space for a grandparent(s) to live in the home comfortably. Some homes are described as “two homes under one roof” with separate entrances and small kitchens. Often, budget-friendly options will have a separate large bedroom with an ensuite on the private side of the house. Either way, ideally, it helps with caregiver duties and the financial obligations that come with it. This allows family member(s) to maintain some privacy and space and only be a quick shout-out if someone needs help. This floor plan has grown in popularity, and you will see builders identify space as a “flex” area (ie: huge entertainment area/gym space/large home office or a private room for a loved one you are caring for), knowing you can utilize the space in different ways helps people see the benefit for the short and long term uses.
Connect with Other Sandwichers – Make it a priority to connect with others who identify with the sandwich generation. Meet them for a walk, coffee, or something more substantial to share stories about caring for your parents and kids. Try to find peace in knowing YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Often, when caring for two generations, your care will come last… it is not okay. YOU NEED TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST sometimes. It is impossible to pour from an empty cup, but it is so hard to prioritize filling your cup. We know, we get it. Please try.
Pat Yourself On the Back – You are doing something unprecedented by humanity by caring for both generations, even before the pandemic. Add a pandemic to that mix, and well, you’re a damn superhuman. Wow. We’re proud of you.
We cannot say it enough: people who identify with the sandwich generation need extra support! We are here to help you navigate uncharted waters. Our services are free to our clients, please contact me anytime to discuss your unique situation and see how we can support you.
“See” you next month! If you have any specific topics or questions you would love for me to cover, please contact info@sunwaysseniorliving.com or call 727-314-6415.
