By Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones
A learning experience is one of those things that says, “You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.” ~ Douglas Adams
Upon moving to Florida, I discovered we have an abundance of venomous snakes. This motivated me to take my dog MacDoodle, to a Snake Avoidance Class, where they used live venomous snakes to give the dogs a “learning experience” they, hopefully, did not soon forget. With the snakes safely and humanely muzzled, the handler placed an electric shock collar on Mac and then led him to the first snake. Mac moved as near as he could for an up-close and personal experience of what “snake” is. When he was within striking distance of the snake, the handler delivered a mild “buzzzz” electrical impulse to Mac’s collar. He immediately received a lesson etched directly in his puppy mind, which was that “Snake” equates to a certain degree of unpleasantness. It took two more “learning experiences” with different snakes and he was a believer; the third time the trainer tried to bring him near a snake, Mac wanted nothing to do with it. This only happened because the trainer kept Mac present and engaged with the experience until he learned the lesson.
How about you? Are you ever challenged to stay engaged with your “life-learning lessons?” Have you noticed there is a correlation between how many times you make the same mistake and the unpleasantness or pain you experience? The more pain involved, the fewer times you make the same mistake – or, at least in theory, that is how it is supposed to work. The problem with this theory is that, while it may work well for dogs wearing shock collars, humans seem more difficult to train. This theory doesn’t consider the pull of denial and instant gratification to which humans are so susceptible. Often we avoid, deny, or numb the pain rather than allowing it to be our teacher. Many people will do anything to avoid dealing with, not only the pain, but the linear process of learning the lesson. We embody the lesson buried in the pain by remaining mindfully connected to the moment at hand and staying with the experience rather than running from it.
When we cannot lean into the moment and embrace the lesson that is being offered, we are signaling the universe saying, “Hey… I want more of the same.” As an example, many of us have gone from one disastrous relationship or unsatisfactory job to the next, and then the next, ad infinitum, never stopping long enough to explore the possibility that each failed experience has something to teach us. While the next person’s name and hair color may change, the “issues” don’t; while the next job may appear to have different coworkers, amazingly enough, the same “problem” people show up in different bodies. We can’t outrun our self-limiting behaviors and beliefs because they will follow us like our own shadow; however, we can transcend them by exposing them to the light of awareness. The practice is to pay attention to what is going on in the moment and learn what it has to teach you.
While the unpleasant impulse of a shock collar stimulated Mac’s motivation to change his behavior, the learned response from the shock (in that moment) probably saved him from much worse pain and suffering in the future; that is called delayed gratification. What lesson is life trying to teach you today about repeatedly recreating the same unpleasant experiences? Odd as it seems, that is the purpose of pain – to get your attention. Hey, if a dog can learn the meaning of “You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that,” there is hope for you and me. The lesson from my master teacher Mac is that life doesn’t need to be so “ruff” – we only need to be present and teachable in the moment… and what better time to start than right now?
Consider yourself buzzzzed.
Peace, Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones • Copyright © 2022 – DMJ Presentations LLC • www.DennisMerrittJones.com