Encouraging Words By Dennis Merritt Jones
“Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” ~ Mark Twain
With the coronavirus pandemic front and center for the past five months, worrying has become a national past time—and understandably so. But, what happens when we truly begin to personalize worry and it becomes obsessive to a point where it begins to take on a life of its own, contaminating the present moment? How much time do we spend, how much energy do we expend, worrying about things that, for the most part, are out of our control? I believe it is worth exploring the “anatomy of worry.” What is it that seems to gives this complex emotion a life-force of its own—and how can we take back some of the power we have given to it?
Refuse to Allow Tomorrow to Leak Into TodayWhen I was a young boy my mom used to refer to me as a “worry-wart.” You could say I held a blackbelt in the fine art of worrying until I was well into my adult years when I began to study the impact of trying to micromanage tomorrow, today. When I got swallowed up in the latest “worry du jour” mom would say, take a deep breath son and try to live in a day-tight compartment…refuse to allow tomorrow to leak into today. What I learned is that worry is a toxic energy that always attaches itself to fear projecting itself into the future, manifesting in one of its most convincing disguises.
No Worries!
Have you ever used the term “No worries” to minimize an issue when someone apologizes to you or asks that you pardon them for some small, innocent, breach of conduct or etiquette? The term has become a contemporary, casual, kind, but useful, euphemism that covers a lot of territory when one wants to say more by saying less. With awareness, saying “No worries” can help us defuse fear by consciously using the term as affirmative mindfulness practice: The more often I say “No worries” to other people the more I realize what a great affirmation, or mantra, it is for myself. Just allow the words “No worries” to wash over you; hear them as a statement of fact—a truth you are claiming as your own; it’s another way of declaring, “I choose NOT to invest my precious time and energy in something over which I have no control.” Think about it; when you are consumed with worry (based on any issue) where is your mind? You have projected it into the future where you have not even a modicum of control. The only thing you have any real control over is perhaps your next breath and the thought attached to it in the present moment; make that thought a healthy and productive one.
“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” ~ Dale Carnegie
The best way to affect your tomorrow in a positive manner is to be acutely aware of what you are putting in your mind today, understanding that fear is never the answer. This is not meant to trivialize the issues that may be going on in our lives or the world around us which are intensely compelling and certainly worthy of our concern; it’s merely a reality check. Worrying about anything over which we have no control is a poor use of the limited and precious time allotted to us on this planet because it doesn’t change anything except our blood pressure.
The Takeaway
The next time the worry habit rises and wraps itself around you, casting you into the future, stop for a moment and take a deep breath. Then ask yourself, “Is this something I have control over or the ability to change in this moment?” If the guidance you receive is “Yes” then drop the worry and take up whatever action you must to alleviate the fear; do what needs to be done. Conversely, if the answer you hear is a resounding “No” then take a deep breath and let the issue go. Embrace “what is” in the moment; refuse to allow worry to have its way with you. In either case, you will be actualizing the mantra that can set you free to be fully present and at peace with yourself in that moment. No worries; it’s more than an affirmation—it’s a way of life.
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