By Richard Nummi, Esq.
Silver Bullets and Swamp Gas: Camping in the Real Florida
If there’s one thing Florida does better than theme parks, it’s camping – provided you don’t mind humidity, mosquitoes the size of hummingbirds, and the occasional alligator peeking through your screen door. My wife, Janet, and I figured if we’re going to brave the elements, we might as well go glamping, which is why we chose to buy an Airstream travel trailer. A sleek silver icon of American travel, designed for those who crave adventure and pretend they aren’t roughing it. Janet fondly reminisces about spending childhood summers with her grandparents in their Airstream Excella 34’. When it came time to decide which RV we should get, it wasn’t even a choice. “We’re getting an Airstream,” she said. Now, we own our third one and are looking to upsize – endearingly deemed the Airstream two-foot shuffle.
Glamping, Florida-Style We first discovered that camping in Florida is less about view and more about strategic air conditioning. You can haul your rolling palace into the Everglades, but unless you enjoy sweating through your Life is Good tank top at 3am, you better pray your generator doesn’t die. Fortunately, as new Airstream owners and members of the Wally Byam International Club, we discovered that they are a different breed – part explorer, part engineer, part crazed iconoclast. They know that a properly maintained Airstream can handle almost anything from high winds, Alligator Alley sinkholes, to the wrath of an HOA that doesn’t appreciate reflective “vintage” vehicles in the driveway.
Our most daring expedition was to Midway Campground in the Everglades where the only thing shinier than the Airstream was the eyes of the gators reflecting in the moonlight. For those of you who prefer fewer reptiles, there’s always Ft. DeSoto, right here in our backyard where dog beach inside the trailer and a raccoon’s midnight heist on the s’mores were the things. Let’s not forget the holy grail of Florida camping, the Florida Keys, where you can back your camper up to the turquoise water and watch pelicans bomb unsuspecting tourists. This year we fine-tuned the art of snowbirding, missing the Colorado hail and Florida hurricanes.
Airstreams vs. Florida’s Natural Disasters Florida, as any long-time resident will tell you, is actively trying to evict its human occupants. Between hurricanes, sinkholes, and the occasional iguana rainstorm (yes, that’s a thing), setting up camp here requires a sense of humor and a really good insurance policy.
Airstreams, however, are built like airplanes. Their aluminum bodies have been mistaken for UFOs and survived cross-country journeys with only minor dings from road-raging snowbirds. Even when parked in the path of a storm, an Airstreamer’s biggest concern isn’t wind damage – it’s that their rig might become airborne and land somewhere in Alabama.
The unwritten rules of Florida camping:
- Respect the Manatees. If you see a floating potato with a face don’t be that person who tries to pet it. Manatees are the gentle, slightly confused hippies of Florida’s waters, and they have enough problems without you mistaking them for an inflatable pool toy.
- Don’t Feed the Gators. Yes, it’s funny until one learns to recognize you as the drive-thru happy meal.
- Beware of the Snowbird Standoff. In peak season, Florida’s campgrounds resemble a well-mannered turf war between retirees and digital nomads pretending to work remotely. If you see an older gentleman in a Tommy Bahama shirt giving you the stink-eye, you’ve probably taken his favorite spot.
Camping in Florida isn’t just about sleeping under the stars – it’s about embracing the chaos. It’s about finding beauty in the mangroves, laughter in the mishaps, and gratitude in the realization that, despite Florida’s best efforts, you’ve survived another day. And really, isn’t that what camping is all about?